Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wish Upon a Star

I liked this one a lot, I'll have to recreate this page for myself in one of my own books. She has 3 wishes - please let me find my price, and we can live ina big castle, and live happily ever after!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

A Bit of Everything Doll

A little this, a little that...then poof! a doll. She was fun to make. Hand sewn dress, color dusters for feet, yarn for a body, clay stamped head, vellum and handmade paper wings with stars, something for a belt, can't remember what it's called, raffia i think - it's organic! Those cool flower things for back of head, hair type stuff. Hope her new owner likes her!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Monday, October 08, 2007

Random Art











Just some awesome random art, most is all altered books, one is a clip board...and it's an awesome clipboard!

Altered Journal






Arg, new scanner at work doesn't have a big enough scanning screen, but this will do... so the point is that I've started the journaler with ideas of what to write and some room to write it in! I had some fun with these. I probably could have done another 5 spreads with the ideas I had. So much fun, Kev, I hope you like!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

High Holiday Sadness

The "High Holidays" are always a happy time. There is nothing better then feeling totally crappy for everything you did wrong, really regretting and wanting to change into a better person, setting new practical goals, "casting" your sins away, and if you've done it right - getting forgiven and being inscribed in the book of life for another year.

What's the problem with that, nothing really. The problem is feeling it. I just didn't feel it this year. I wasn't able to connect to anything, most of the time. I wanted to be crying like the others, regretting like the others, etc, but I when I wanted to feel like that, it felt like my heart turned into a stone. I think a part of me was afraid to feel all the bad stuff because inside I knew that I would have totally lost it and broken down, and then I would have been embarrassed. In front of who? All the other blubbering jews that are able to connect to all this??

Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad for all the loshen hara (gossip, and speaking ill of anyone) that I said, and all the other nasty little things that most people without blinking an eye at it. But during Viduy (sort of like a confession, but that's not the right translation of that word, it's really more like a meeting with myself, holding myself accountable for all the things I know is wrong, but did anyway), I just couldn't feel it.

I really should have learned more this year before Rosh Hashanna. Had a better knowledge of what was going on, maybe then I would have connected better, maybe. That usually helps, but this year, well last year, everything got away from me. Plus, last year I was really davening (praying) for something. This year, I had nothing to pray for, nothing to feel undeserving for. Because what I wanted to change was me, but in order to do that, I had to really let go and want it. I had to face the ugly part of me, and I didn't want to own up to that, at all. That's probably why I didn't allow myself to connect to any of this year. Who wants to face that?

Bad me....

Challenging Beliefs

It's very interesting all the things that come up that challenge a person's faith. And it changes from day to day, week to week and month to month. Last year at Rosh HaShanna, I wanted to marry that man that I loved who wasn't Jewish. And I did, but he became Jewish (I like to call our relationship rabinically and halachahily approved). The ride wasn't easy. And it started some seven years ago. But that's a story for another day.

But lately it's the superficial things that driving a serious wedge between what I know to be true and what I want to do anyways. Like singing, and covering my hair, pepperoni pizza, and yard sales on Saturday mornings with my mom. Or having lunch with co-workers.

So let's start with the food. I've been craving pepperoni pizza like no ones business. That and seafood. A little while ago I was sitting at a red light in White Marsh after visiting my favorite art store, and on my left was a red lobster. I started drooling just thinking about shrimp cocktail, king crab legs and lobster tails. I remember taking my best friends out to a seafood restaurant in Ocean City and getting into a snapping crab leg fight. That was so much fun! Light turns green, someone beeps and off I go. And with one quick Tori Amos song, Silent All These Year, I've forgotten all about it. But it's dawned on me lately what the real issue is behind the food. It's not the food at all. It's all the memories, and the new restrictions. Now I've been keeping kosher and keeping shabbos for a little more then a year now. And it never bothered me until recently. And just before Rosh Hashanna came the thunderstorm of what I really am missing.

Monday - car broke down. Well, it wouldn't start. My husband comes over tries to jump start it, no luck. Checks this and that, no luck. I'm not upset at all either, this happens no problem. But then he says, "Sorry honey, we'll have to have Dad look at it and if he can't figure it out, we'll have to find the money to get it towed." I said okay, and asked for a ride to work. After all, it is bowling day at work. I do love my job. We're having our company outing today... He said it would cost too much to take me to work and back to Baltimore, and back to get me and back home. And since he makes more money then I do, it's cheaper for me to stay at home. And of course, he's right. He's right to any logical person. But I'm a woman. An emotional being who really is hearing, my job is better, I make money in this family, you stay home since you don't make crap for a living. Yuck!! I should have listened to HaShem and my husband....but I didn't, so here's the rest of the day...

So I call my boss and he doesn't want me to miss bowling day either, so he comes down to pick me up and takes me to work. Now, we get their around 10:30am and do some work. And when it comes time to figure out what we're doing, a co-worker says, I have to leave a 3. Since it's now 12:30 that's enough time to go bowling if we don't want to eat lunch. So we decide on lunch. Or they decide on lunch since I work in Westminster where there is no kosher anything anywhere. I was fine with this decision because they could get carry out and have lunch at the office and all sit around the table and laugh and joke and gripe about things. But they didn't. They went to Applebees. One person didn't want to get carry out. They wanted to sit down and eat there. And they know I couldn't go....but they chose that anyways.

So i didn't go.

They went out on a company outing and all had a great time, released some steam, and I sat in the office, crying my eyes out with the decision I made to keep kosher and all that it entails, while eating some tuna. I didn't start out kosher when I worked there either, so I used to go with them. Applebees has great cheese sticks.

These decisions I make separate me from everyone. My co workers, my family my friends. Who doesn't go out an eat whenever and have a great time. And they don't understand. And why should they?

That's what hurts. That's the challenge. To stick to your beliefs when it comes to something as simple as you stay at the office alone, when they go out for lunch. I know it's petty and really silly, but it still hurts. And it makes me question what I'm doing, and why.

I don't usually stay in this frame of mind for long, but I've been here for about 2 weeks....

Friday, September 21, 2007

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Thorn Hailfrost

Your fairy is called Thorn Hailfrost
She is a protector of the lonely.
She lives in brambles and blackberry bushes.
She is only seen during the first snow of winter.
She wears purple and green like berries and leaves. She has cheery turquoise wings like a butterfly.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Soul Journal




So I'm really into these art journals, it's great therapy for cheap, and I feel great afterward. This journal which is about to leave home today is for artists to express feelings deep in their soul and left out some fun, dark, whatever art comes out! Can't wait to see what comes home....

Dreams and Fantasies




This is such a fun book...it came back home, thank you g-d, I did a couple of spreads and redid the covers and now she's going back out!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

I'm Back, I'm Married and I'm ready to alter!

Hi Everyone,

Well, I went away for a while, but all for wonderful reasons. I got engaged the beginning of March, married May 6, moved out of my apartment, went to Israel for 6.5 weeks, came back and moved into a new apartment with my husband!!

I'm starting to work on a few projects once my art table is in order (this week if he puts up the shelves tomorrow!!):

Altered Bras
Altered Wands
More altered books and Journals
And Faeries trapped in little bottles - thanks to Lisa Vallroth

More to come soon,
Copper

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

How Many People Have Your Name?


HowManyOfMe.com
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